In the mess that was freshman year of college, I met someone I really liked. This blog is already sorta anonymous but for her sake, I’ll call her C. She and I were in the same “group” of friends, but I always felt like I got along with her more than the others. When I made jokes the rest of the group didn’t get, C usually did. When the rest of the group started trying to exclude me from activities, C would stick up for me and make sure I was included. I appreciated that a lot more than I ever let on.
Now this year, I’ve moved on from that whole group. I have a lot of new friends who actually want me around, and I’m done fighting to win over people who couldn’t care less. But I do genuinely miss C, and I often wish I could let her know. The problem is, she’s still super close with this group of people that I really can’t handle in my life right now. I don’t want to start drama by trying to re-establish a solid relationship C and not the rest of them. So that leaves me at an impasse.
At the moment we’re both reblogging random things on tumblr, and I’m looking at her posts wishing I could ask her about what she thought of the golden globes, and if she remembers all the fun we had watching them together last year. That night is one of the only positive memories I have of my spring semester.
But we haven’t spoken in months, and I don’t think I can find the words to tell her that.